"Sonic Mania Is the REAL Sonic 4

UGH! Looks like we have to talk about this ****ty game one more time! (dont kill me, i did censor swear words, and ill tell you more below) I mean cmon guys, i thought i could mention that sonic 4 is the worst game in existence and could be fine with it, but NO! the sonic 4 defense force wouldnt shut up rightfully defending the game, those pieces of ****! ALL I DID WAS CALL IT THE EMBODIMENT OF SATAN AND WORSE THAN 06! But cmon guys, you can just shake it off no big deal, its not like im not letting people have opinions, no no, not at all! So guess what, im gonna MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR LIKING IT! im not choosing to do this, YOU MADE ME DO THIS! Where do i even begin with this clustered ****shake? This games presentation is complete ****fries with a ****ball sundae! and you want to know why? its just some kind of horrible nightmare, where they refine the engine of a good sonic game and turn it into this atrocity, what the hell game designers? (shows cybershell doing the wall stick thing on purpose), i mean this NASTY HD imposter can never compare to the "refined" sprites of the sega genesis, i mean cmon man! compare this obviouslybettersonic.jpeg to this uglyclassicsonic.jpeg, there is no competition id rather go wait for sonic mania because it isnt advancing the franchise, what the hell game designers? why cant everything be like sonic 3 and knuckles? why cant we have MASTERPIECE game music like Ice Cap Zone, i could just imagine going through a Launch Base from... Sonic and Knuckles, and its all sexual with bean the dynamite, in fact, after this review, im going to play sonic the fighters because im so much of a nostalgiatard i have a whole thousand dollar arcade machine in my moms.. i mean gamer room, the model in sonic 3 is refined and beautiful, but instead we have sonic in silk and he just looks like cr*p! also his running animation is straight up laughable, now lets have a minute discussion on how bad his animations are, what the hell game designers? did you really have to add 2 whole seconds onto his running animation? and what kind of ****ing ****tard decided to give him green eyes? what weed were they smoking at segas development, you know, the only good 3d sonic game is sonic adventure on the dreamcast, you know why? because the dreamcast is an underrated perfect cut gem, but what does the xbox 360 bring to the ****ing table, ****ing sonic 06! the most biggest unbelievable ****fest ever concieved on this planet, that, my friend is until 2010 when they gave us hot meta era trash, in fact in my next review, ill talk about how mania saved the franchise, sonic 4 was just made for panderers by panderers, oh my god, how dare they add a vine mechanic in act 2? sonic 3 implemented those vines so well (shows cybershell purposely screwing up on splash hill act 2), they cant even do a sense of speed anymore, wheres sonic mania sega? what the hell game designers? and why are all the enemies rendered so brightly, this has never been this way ever with sega! (completely ignores jet set radio), the style is completely nauseating (continues to mess up by purposely running into the enemies and blaming it on the game), alot of people think this **** is good for some reason, well they can go fun themselves and play sonic advance, that is much better than this steaming pile of piles, now lets move on to the music and GOD DAMN ITS AWFUL, instead of the completely fine genesis music, where greatly composed masterpieces like the sonic 3 miniboss theme just cant even be compared and combined with the garbled mess of sonic 4s "sound chip", this mess isnt even good in the slightest (puts on splash hill zone act 1, which doesnt even sound bad), music is completely crucial to making a sonic game and they still ****ed it up, because they are sega of course, i say **** you sega for existing and giving us this garbage, the music sucks, it ****ing sucks! take the ICONIC casino night and compare it to the complete and utter KNOCKOFF that is casino street (shows the card gimmick), what the hell game designers? especially jun senoue, jun should kill himself for making this trash, jesus christ i cant stop hearing mad gear zone, its ****ing ear grating! especially that AWFUL excuse for a boss theme, instead of it being as MASTERFUL as sonic 3k (completely forgets that 3 and knuckles are the SAME GAME), instead they give us this clownish cluster****, sonic 3ks boss theme is good, intimidating, and good, sonic 4s is just this poor excuse of a boss theme (completely ignores the fact that sonic 3s boss theme sounds like mega man music), also the bosses have a ****ing cooldown so you cant even use the homing attack? whats this? skill in my 2d sonic game, i cant have that at all, that is unacceptable!, people complained that i hate the game because it aint like the genesis, well **** you, go to hell, and never come back And guess what, the genesis games are great and fun in every way, go play them instead, they are superior and its fair to assume that the game would be exactly like those since its ****ing advertising itself as sonic ****ing 4, sega can go rub their noses in the **** they made, i dont hate it because its different (hates it because its different, and tries to hide it), i hate it because its ****ing bad and not ****ing fun to ****ing play the ****ing game, that is called sonic ****ing 4! (literally rams himself into an enemy and calls the game bad), the spindash ****ing sucks in this game because how dare it not exactly be like sonic mania, go play sonic mania instead, omg, it literally has a drop dash, but since sonic 4 cant predict the future, that excuse is dog****, it should have the drop dash because new things shouldve been in sonic 4, but instead its "SoNiC 1 WiTh LeSs CoNtEnT" i mean cmon, you dont even gain any momentum when rolling down a ****ing hill, what a **** game, what the ****? there is no sense of adventure but they rub **** physics and stupid names like "the adventure begins" "WHAT ****ING ADVENTURE?", there is no immersion at all, how dare knuckles not be in the game! i shouldnt have to wait till episode ****ing 3! what the hell game designers?, he is totally weightless, if you stop holding right he just completely comes to a ****ing stop like **** coming out my ass, its extremely jarring! (literally tries with all his might to stop playing the game to show how "bad" the game is), its not just the physics that are HORRIBLE, its the ****ing AWFUL level design, this is basically dimps level template (shows dumbass "template" of what dimps level design is, even though the level design has been in every dimps sonic game and was praised for it, this game gets hate of course because this game is the devil now) "launch into air (has literally been in every sonic game), run up walls or loops (you know, the feature thats been there since SONIC 1), launch into air, homing attack chain over pit (DiFfiCulTy), insert gimmick (like sonic 3 NEVER had gimmicks!), spring into loop, launch into air ONCE MORE (honestly, youre point isnt getting across)" boosters are normally fine (they are called dash panels, so much for the "sonic sultan"), but they appear WAY TOO FREQUENTLY, going at top speed was ReWaRdEd! sonic 4 takes that ****ing difficulty away and replaces it with the gimmicks, which ill talk about, cmon, hydrocity was A PERFECT ZONE IN EVER WAY! you would do (tedious) platforming and jump on fans and conveyor belts and then after that youd be rewarded with speed, jumping on watery platforms and then do more platforming before leaping off conveyors is just full of the exaggerated swagger... of a blue hedgehog, they are just constantly handing out the ****ing speed like its ****ing nothing! **** you for thinking otherwise! what the hell game designers? splash hill zone is the worst designed zone ever made, all it is is loops and homing attack chains, ugh, how dare sonic games have basic features? play sonic mania, that is the real sonic 4!, they just hand out the speed like its ****ing candy and dear god, DEAR ****ING GOD, THE HOMING ATTACK? THE GREEN EYES? THE ****ING HOMING ATTACK? THE GAMEPLAY ADVANCED? SONIC 3K HAD THE INSTASHIELD, BUT NO THEY HAD TO **** THAT UP AND GIVE US, THE HOMING ATTACK!, the thing that was only added for noobs who couldnt do the game the way it was intended, omg, sonic mania did this all so much better, once again, the drop dash gives me a orgasm, but the stupid homing attack is unsatisfying (even though, the game was LITERALLY MADE AROUND IT TO MAKE IT MORE SATISFYING), you used to have to jump on the enemies one by one, and if you couldnt do it, **** you and never ****ing come back, now its just a lifeless chore, thanks iizuka for the ****ty game, WHY CANT WE HAVE YUJI NAKA, HELL BRING US BACK OUT OF THIS MODERN HELLHOLE!, remember when killing enemies took skill, sonic 3k did this all perfectly, removing all the dumbass robots from sonic 1 and 2, remember when taking the top half had rewards, now they are just ****ing handed out like ****ing sweets on a ****ing halloween night, you can build up speed, but now you cant with this disastrous trainwreck!, now you just press a five times (its LITERALLY BEEN LIKE THAT IN EVERY 3D GAME, seriously, this guy is the reason why "real sonic fans" dont come on the "sonic rings series" show, because they want wholesome, actually cool fans like STPeach, NoisyButters and Aaron Kurtzer, but instead people constantly ask if toxic scumbags like Cybershell and Eldarin join), and WHY THE **** DO YOU UNCURL FROM A BALL AFTER RAMPS? (i dont know, because there is a homing attack chain coming up you idiot! and skill is required, unlike "sonic mania, the real sonic 4, which was only made for nostalgiatards, by nostalgiatards) WHY CANT EVERYTHING BE LIKE THE GOOD OLD SEGA GENESIS DAYS? AND **** YOU FOR THINKING IM WRONG, IM ALWAYS RIGHT AND IM BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE I HAVE 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH SONIC GAMES, omg, what is the ****ing point of all these changes? why cant it be like sonic 3K? what the hell game designers? instead all you do is the ****ty ****ing ****ardized atrocious godawful homing attack, there is no skill required, **** dude, 3 acts? (there is 4 acts per zone, you idiot, boss acts count as act 4, how dare a zone have more acts than usual, but no one complains about knuckles chaotixs 5 acts, because thats part of the "sacred classic sonic games") weve been over this! how dare i have to play these ****ing zones for longer than 10 ****ing minutes, **** you sega, now im going to make a video protesting to sega where i play the godly sonic 2 saying **** you sega everytime i jump, literally EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS that 2 acts and a boss each one and 7 minutes per act is the formula, but sonic 4 ****s it up, because its sonic 4 and its different, and only 4 NEW ZONES? (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THERE ARE 11 ZONES IF YOU COUNT EPISODE 2, THE 5TH ZONE YOU MISSED, AND EPISODE METAL, *facepalm*), and how dare they use the sonic 1 special stages, despite it being fresh air after the sonic 2 halfpipe, who the **** likes the sonic 1 special stages, also you tilt the entire stage like a *****y ****ing mobile game! who the **** asked for that? ****ing nobody thats who!, they have timers and ring gates now (because how dare they give life to sonic 1!), these special stages are ****ing garbage, now im going to talk about the jump animation for no reason, it ****ing rotates too much so they had to ****ing redo the ****ing sprite, **** you sega to ****ing hell!, hey look, the ending in sonic 1? how dare they do nostalgic flashbacks, give me something new, this is SONIC ****ING 4!, whats the ****ing point in calling it sonic ****ing 4 if its just a ****fest of "reimagined" zones, its just a PALE IMITATION of the classics, not sonic 4, go to hell if you think otherwise, splash hill? casino street? lost labyrinth? mad gear?, oh my god, they cant even be original with this can they, and egg station is just a dumb**** boss rush with a 24 hit SLOG of a final boss! at least bring some new ideas to the table! (completely ignores level gimmicks) WHAT THE **** IS SONIC 4 BRINGING TO THE TABLE? WHAT THE HELL GAME DESIGNERS? oh, oh my god, holy sh**, what the ****ing hell is this? stop, go back to being unoriginal! (completely ignores the fact that sonic mania has very close level gimmicks to sonic 4), these new level "gimmicks" are ****ING ATROCIOUS!!! they put a dumbass boulder to balance on, i sure love difficulty in my easy sonic game! oh my god, and that RETARDED vine swinging level, oh my ****ing god! the vines dont even work like ****ing vines ****ing should! this is an embarrassment to the franchise! yeah i want a ****ty minecart section in my sonic game, screw you for thinking that one up sega, **** you! its truly impossible to think that sega could make such GARBAGE levels and think its ****ing ok, i cant even PUT INTO WORDS how ****ing ABYSMAL this game is, the boss battles are acutely UNFUN and are RIPOFFS, and they have a ****ing cooldown! (so they dont abuse the homing attack, once again, its you complaining because youre bad at the game!), then you have to fight all those 4 bosses again in a ****ing boss rush and then do that dumb final boss, which is just the death egg robot again! THIS IS A STUPID SH***Y ****ING BOSS RUSH! AND THEN AFTER THAT ITS THE DEATH EGG ROBOT AGAIN, but cybershell, it was in sonic mania too, yeah, in the first zone, that somehow explains my hatred for a boss battle, instead we get a 24 HIT SLOG OF A FINAL BOSS WITH A BULL**** INSTAKILL HIT, in short, sonic 4 is ****ing dog**** 0/10 never playing again, go play sonic mania, NEVER EVER PLAY THIS GAME! AND ****ING SPARE ME ON THIS "YOURE EXAGGERATING" YOURE DUMBASSES FOR THINKING THIS GAME IS ANYTHING BUT A SH***Y ****ING MOBILE GAME, **** YOU FOR SAYING ITS NOT THAT BAD, NOT THAT BAD MY ASS, thats why we get garbage modern sonic trash like this in the first place, **** you so called fans, so why would anyone possibly like this? 1. theyre ****ing retarded, 2. they dont know any better, and if you like it, go refine your tastes because how dare you like this abysmal sequel to the sacred Sonic 3K! **** you! never play this again, and dont listen to destructoids trash, here it is "i never had a problem with sonic 4, but "fans" have rage fuelled videos on youtube from confirmed virgins" **** you jim sterling and go to hell, pathological haters sonic retro, you know, the smartest people on the internet (ARE YOU FRICKING JOKING? THEY HAVE AS MUCH OF A CLASSIC SONIC FETISH AS YOU, CYBERPENIS), the terrifying sonic fanbase will get their pitchforks up"

Final Verdict:0/10, go play sonic mania instead of this abysmal trash, never ever play again if you have played it already

NOTE:this was all a joke to dig at cybershell and his unneeded rage filled hatred at sonic 4 like its the spawn of the devil, peace out and these swear words were put in as a joke, peace Sonic Lost World Alternate Soundtrack