The WORST SONIC REVIEWS EVER???

I will be showing you the worst professional and worst amateur sonic review, one is on the entire franchise and is by IGN (Ignorant Gits Network, is that what it stands for?) and a youtuber named Eldarin, who thinks a MOBILE GAME is the worst sonic game OF ALL TIME, and the worst game HE HAS EVER PLAYED!!!

So lets go to IGNs Game Scoop Sub Channel and review IGNs Review on the franchise

IGN:Alright! continuing down our.... "nostalgic path" this week, 2 NEW SONIC GAMES were announced on the weekend at Comic Con, first up is Sonic Mania, a new 2D Platformer with the core classic sonic gameplay

Me:you know, the reason it has the gameplay of the sacred classics is because of you bashing on every 3D title ever, but hey, continue!

IGN:PS4, Xbox One and PC!

Me:So, they didnt know about the "NX" somehow? were they living under a rock or does nintendo not exist now?

IGN:It is reimagined zones from sonic 1, 2, 3, cd and knuckles

Another IGN Person:That i missed, i thought it was an all new game

Me:YES IT IS YOU DUMBASS

IGN:Reimagined levels, remixes!

IGN Person 3:So it will feel like youre going through, uh, uh... a green... a green hill zone from..... *sonic 2*

Me:Green Hill Zone from Sonic 2? did this guy even play sonic, i mean cmon, even people who have never played a sonic game know that green hill zone is from sonic 1, yet this guy is so thick in the head, he thinks its from sonic 2!

IGN Person 3:its all familiar until there is a boss at the end, different, or pulled from knuckles

Me:pulled from knuckles? where? his wazoo?

IGN Person 3:its sort of.. er... something like a mixtape

IGN Person 4:plus new levels...

Me:Didnt person 3 just already say that there was new stuff in the game? *facepalm*

IGN Person 4:The 2D Ones? Far more interesting to me.

Me:gotta love ONLY classic sonic, ONLY boring 2D grassy mobius with no actual humans, no actual plot, and basic levels, i like classic sonic, but modern literally improves on classic sonic in like.. every way

IGN Person 4:The "broody" dark save the world other one? like it REEKS of werehog

Me:*mutahar laugh*

Me:in all seriousness, are you actually saying that forces reeks of werehog with no footage of the werehog, and not only that, bashed it for its in depth and serious tone, because sonic must have skin coloured arms, must be 2 feet tall, must be restricted to 2D, and must ONLY EVER BE A CUTE WOODLAND CREATURE INSTEAD OF SOMETHING COOL!

IGN Person 2:the trailer looked great

Me:*cries that the fact "project 2017" ended up sucking hard*

IGN Person 2:The music was great, the graphics were great, its just the mix of old and new, and when i saw sonic mania

Me:OF COURSE HE WAS TALKING ABOUT MANIA, I WONDER WHY??? (hint:its because they are all wearing megadrive nostalgia goggles)

IGN Person 2:I thought we might actually have.. err... the second good sonic game!

Me:WAIT? did he just say that there has only been one good sonic game until mania? let me guess, sonic 2 good every other game bad, like do these people even play sonic, they probably played like 15 minutes of it and never played it again

IGN Person 1:*tries to talk*

IGN Person 3:*interrupts person 1* Was there a first?

IGN Person 4:was there?

IGN Person 2:Sonic CD.

Me:DID THEY JUST SAY THAT ONLY SONIC CD AND MANIA WERE GOOD? Sonic CD had no speed, no enjoyment, and horrible bosses, ESPECIALLY that collsion chaos garbage, also just like every other Sega CD game, it tries to be some dumbass creepypasta, they did this with the 32X as well which made me say that knuckles chaotix was if garalina made a sonic game, but cmon man, did he just say Sonic CD was the only good sonic game? that one is like.. the worst of the classics, its ok to have this opinion, all opinions are allowed, but they are blatantly saying this in front of millions who tune in to watch Game Scoop

IGN Person 4:i like sonic cd

IGN Person 1:what about dr robotniks mean bean machine?

Every Other IGN Person: *breaks down laughing*

IGN Person 1:thats a genuinely good game!

Me:i couldnt even get past level 1 on the sonic puyo puyo westernized knockoff

IGN Person 4:i loved starring as the player in that game!

Every Other IGN Person: *breaks down laughing*

IGN Person 1:so people seem to be excited about sonic mania, but i dont know, people seem to have forgotten that not too long ago there was sonic the hedgehog 4 (literally shows 4 fingers up like we are idiots), it was released episodically, and i think they were pretty mediocre

Me:i didnt know IGN were opinion bandwagoners too!

IGN Person 4:there was also sonic generations, which was predominantly 2D, um... had some 3D Stuff in it but like... I think were... Okay, i think we are at this point where we need to admit that this was never really a great franchise!

Me:WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? NEVER A GREAT FRANCHISE? GET OUTTA HERE! THERE IS LIKE 100 GAMES IN THE SERIES AND NOT ONE IS GOOD TO YOU?

IGN Person 3: *NOPE*

IGN Person 4:we keep trying and trying and trying to find this thing that was never really there

IGN Person 2:sonic was never good...

Me:SONIC WAS NEVER GOOD? SO SONIC 1, 2, 3, CD, 3D BLAST, SA1, SA2, HEROES, SHADOW, 06, SECRET RINGS, UNLEASHED WII, COLOURS, COLOURS DS, GENERATIONS, LOST WORLD, LOST WORLD 3DS AND FORCES ALL SUCKED? SHUT THE HELL UP, SONIC WAS NEVER GOOD MY ASS

IGN Person 3:yeah its a 25 year lie!

Me:did he just call sonics existence a lie... well im out

Anyway that is it for the IGN Video, i didnt want to be there too long since its a 6 minute review, and "Eldarin" has some pretty angry and petty remarks to say

Anyway, next culprit is an idiotic git named Eldarin, you can already tell hes a normie, he likes episode 2 more than episode 1 (because if people dare say episode 1 is better, all hell will erupt), he constantly swears and picks at the littlest things (so basically a cybershell jr), and the thing that seals the deal, the chao profile picture, hes probably another SA2 drone who thinks the chao garden is the best thing ever, newsflash i never liked chao, they are annoying, they have stupid ass voices, and worst of all, they are with cream the slutty rabbit, so for real, grab some orange juice, because HERE WE GO!

Eldarin:Ladies and gentlemen today we will put under the lens sonic teams aborted game, around the same time the original announcement, a teaser video for sonic 4 episode 1, then called project needlemouse, was released showing a very similar looking emblem to the sonic 1 starting emblem, this along with other pr stunts to draw a pipe like a character countdown, trivia questions, and a whole new set of merch being dropped for hedgehog week

Me:so far so good...

Eldarin:all for the upcoming unveiling at midnight on february 4th 2010, and when the clock struck midnight the official title of project needlemouse was revealed as sonic the hedgehog 4, showing a brief trailer of gameplay footage and announcing an episodic release

Me:i think everyone knows all this but ok, continue

Eldarin:Sonic 4 was originally developed as a smartphone exclusive spin-off called sonic the portable

Me: *facepalm* here comes the parade (in all seriousness, people constantly bring this exact fact up pathetically "backing up" their opinions)

Eldarin:that was supposed to center around the phones gyroscopic controls and the remnants of this can still be seen in the mobile versions, where theres actually 2 levels that use the controls, still anyways, all this gyroscopic cr*p was then scrapped and retired to sonic 4 and slapped on every platform as orders from sega of america

Me:"slapped on every platform" seriously? thats because they wanted to reach out to a wider audience, this game wasnt just made for mobile gamer casuals you know

Eldarin:This would explain the HORRID art style and the LOW BUDGET look at the first episode

Me:because having a Jet Set Radio Esque art style is ABSOLOUTELY HORRIBLE and LOW BUDGET AM I RIGHT?

Eldarin:later in the same month, a recent build of episode 1 was uploaded to a developer testing website named partnernet

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